Friday, March 22, 2002

This Explains A Lot About Me

I was listening to the radio on the way into work this morning. A commercial came on with some perky background music, followed by an announcer's voice:

"Is there no humming in your plumbing?"

And the first thing that came to my mind was: "When did urologists start running ads?"

We're Tougher Than You

Sure it's still winter — I don't care what the calendar says, I dare you to go outside around here without a jacket before May — but folks up here are into the grand tradition of self-delusion. How else could you explain this guy:

You might think you'd have to be insane to hang ten in the Gulf of Maine in March — and "ten" in this case refers to water temperature. But if you look closely at the photo, you'll see that the guy has the forethought to put on a motorcycle helmet before surfing.

Which makes perfect sense, really. You'll want head protection in case you accidentally crash into a walrus.

[Photo from The Ellsworth American.]

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

Actual conversation from yesterday:

"Should we get the loon, or wait for the lobster?"

"The sticks and water is cheaper."

Sounds like quite a restaurant, huh?

But we were just getting new license plates.

Monday, March 18, 2002

While helping the wife make a late dinner on Saturday evening, I switched on the TV to watch some games in the second round of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. I love the tourney, have always loved it, always look forward to it every March as a sign of impending spring. Imagine my surprise when I flipped to the local CBS affiliate to find...well, it was basketball, all right, but not the college tournament. Instead, I was staring, slack-jawed, at the Maine girls' high school state championship game.

And I don't know what the marketing geniuses envisioned when they came up with the term "March Madness," but I'll bet everything I own that it wasn't the sight of a grown man throwing slices of bread at his television, screaming and wondering what kind of hellish primitive backwater he had moved his family to.